to even the tiniest strand of hope. Hope that will on day reunite us, hope that will result in things never changing.
I hate this
7:55 PM
I'm so glad it's almost the march holidays. It's only been a few weeks and I'm already so tired and dreading school this much. I can't imagine the fear, the dread, all the other negative feelings I'll have when school starts again. I have so many problems and I don't feel like talking about it. Thank God tomorrow's friday. Only God can whisk me away from this dreadful life/ dreadful thinking and keep me going.
Sunday, 26 February, 2012
10:42 PM
It's tomorrow. Yet, for the first time in my life, I'm not looking forward to my birthday, all because I'm dreading school. I used to look forward to birthdays, especially in PL(sec) because I had my awesome friends around me to share my birthdays with. It's the times when we celebrate each other's birthdays by singing the song the PL way that I miss. It's actually being happy in school that I miss. There's so much that I miss. But now, all those happy times are gone.
Saturday, 25 February, 2012
It hurts
10:33 AM
because the coming of my birthday only makes me miss PL and my friends even more. And it makes me dread school even more.
Friday, 17 February, 2012
I wish you were here...
10:25 PM
The whole 'I miss all my frieds alot' situation didn't really hit me hard until now. I realised how much I missed all my friends from PL. Sure, I have friends here but they're not the same. I don't behave the same way as I did with you guys. I feel less free to be myself when I'm with them. I really really really miss you guys. :'(
Friday, 10 February, 2012
I want to...
8:06 PM
I want to escape. Yet I can't. But I know the harder it gets, the worse I'll feel. All the more I should work harder to get out of this place ASAP. Hopefully, I won't have to retain and this would just be two years. Only to me, this would be two very long and tiring years. I long so much to escape...
8:01 PM
I hate it. I feel as though they've invaded into my private space, even though it's just a simple group.
Saturday, 4 February, 2012
And I can't breathe, without you, but I have to...
2:58 PM
I need more time to adjust. I miss having a life where I was familiar with most of the things in it. I hate being in an unfamiliar setting. I hate change and it's taking me so much effort and so long to adjust to. It's like a whole different life... :'(
Wednesday, 1 February, 2012
Panic Attack
8:58 PM
I cry, or feel like vomiting or get some other similar symptoms whenever I get a panic attack. One such example is now. I'm so afraid I don't get to appeal for cross combi that I feel like crying. Okay, I'm tearing actually. Plus, the scare I got when there was a blackout just now and my parents were not home doesn't help either. Life sucks.
Second day
2:16 PM
The second day of school seemed so much better than the first. Perhaps it was due to us having so many sample lectures and I felt that there was no need to attend most of them so we didn't attend, which granted us a lot of time and enabled us to leave earlier. So I went to buy my uniforms today and I regretted not bringing money yesterday because the queue was so long. I queued for more than an hour! I still feel tired though, perhaps I should start sleeping earlier. On top of the friend I made yesterday(Her name's Jia Ming), I made a new friend today! Her name is Joycelyn(I think it's spelt like that) and she seemed really nice. I'm writing this post on the bus so that I won't fall asleep on the bus. Taking a different bus today because I hope to find a bus that takes a much shorter time to get me home :) But judging by the route this bus takes, it would take me a shorter time to get home normally but not at peak hours. It goes along the road to ECP, Eunos area, which means that the traffic would be extremely heavy during peak hours. I'm itching to take some nice photos, yet I don't have any subjects in mind. Ohwells.
Tuesday, 31 January, 2012
School and Orientation
8:08 PM
It's only the first day and I already have such negative thoughts about school. It isn't that I don't like the JC(I think it's too early to determine how much I like it), I simply dislike the Orientation programme. In fact, I hate Orientation programmes. They're fun only for people who are enthu and they automatically think that you will definitely enjoy the programmes. I find the Orientation programme too long and draggy and it has already taken up most of my energy. I hardly have the energy left to type this. I have no idea how I'm going to survive thurs, fri and sat's orientation. Tmr should be fine, since it's pretty much like today. However, saturday, orientation takes up the ENTIRE day, from 7.30 am to 10.00 pm. Seriously, this just ruined my saturday plans. Oh and we're supposed to go for this mass dance thing on fri evening, 6-8pm. WTS. Further ruin my plans. There're people coming to my house on friday for dinner! Urgh. And my coordination sucks so I dislike dancing.
Oh, did I mention, the school emphasizes on holistic development, which is kinda like PL all over again. Why? Because of all the leadership stuff. And to think I wanted to run away from that so I can enjoy my JC life but no, the JC I chose happens to emphasize on leadership too. Gosh, I hope I survive my next two years.
I'm actually pretty intimidated by everything. Once lessons start, it's going to be like sec 3 and 4 life all over again, except much more stressful. Also, despite having so many of 4A2 classmates in the same school, most of them are opting to take science. If I don't pass my appeal for cross combination, I'll be the only one there taking arts... :( Sigh. At least I fulfil the pre-requisites for the university courses I want to take...
The bus journey from the JC is so long I fall asleep pretty easily on the bus and when I get home or back to my grandma's house, I'm exhausted. Somehow, now I kind of regret my choice. But I'm still unsure. Would Nanyang have been a better choice? Or even poly?
Thursday, 26 January, 2012
7 Days In Life
5:20 PM
I'm back to my TVB dramas! :) 7 days in life is about the lives of people who happen to be trapped in this hotel for 7 days after one of the occupants is diagnosed with H1N1 amd they had to quarantine the entire hotel for 7 days. So these 2 professional thieves are trapped, along with everyone else (which includes the workers, a kidnapper and the kid, a prostitute, a policeman looking for the kid etc). During these 7 days, people change and a whole chain of complicated events happen.
*Spoiler Alert*
So these 2 professional thieves are lovers too. The guy has terminal illness and is trying to stop the girl from loving him because he knows that he is dying soon. So he went on to do a whole load of bad stuff but in the end, the girl found out and refused to leave him. So he left her and 1 year later, she is seen having his kid and still searching for him. Aww, so sweet. So i took this pic from the net then added the words, which are lyrics from "What a wonderful world". The drama made use of this song quite a lot throughout so I kind of consider it a theme song. Hee. Sonija and Steven look sweet together. ^.^
School [about to] Reopen(s)
5:11 PM
Sigh. In just a few days, we'll have to return to school, slog our guts out for anth two years, wait for results like this again. Then, we'll have to decide where we would like to go. After that, another few years of school and we're free(unless you want a higher degree).
Of course, there's still a pretty long way to go. But time passes quickly... I feel as if I've wasted the entire holiday away. Ohwells.
Sunday, 15 January, 2012
My nails :)
8:04 PM
10:30 AM
Just changed my blogskin. But if i were to upload pics, it would cut off half of the pic... :( Heck. Ohwells.
Bought new nail polish! Shall upload the pics in another post. :) The past week was basically just visiting of JCs and submitting JAE. Honestly, I don't think I actually did that well. I was kind of aiming for 8 points. Yet I got 10. Still, I could have gotten much worse so I thank God for my results. Anyway, I placed TJC as my first choice. My second and third choices are both NYJC. Sigh, after I submitted my JAE, I kind of regretted placing TJC as my first choice. TJ is rather far so daily commute would take me about 1 1/2 to 2 hours altogether. Also, I applied for arts stream but I want to take cross combination: Physics, Maths, Geog and Econs. In order to apply for that in TJ, I'll need a raw score of 9, which I missed by 1. 1 freaking point. And so, I'll have to appeal and it would be difficult for me to get in. So let's say I do not get into the cross combi, I'll have to take Lit instead of Physics... :( I don't want to take lit and Lit won't get me to many places as compared to Physics...
Hence, I'd rather get into NYJC, where commute takes only about 1 hr or less in total and I qualify for the cross combi there. Moreover, the combinations there are more flexible as compared to TJ. Sigh, TJ may be a better JC, yet NYJC has more benefits. So I kind of regret my choices... Oh, and NYJC starts school pretty late too! I got stuck at 5th choice so for my 5th and 6th choice, I anyhow put AJC and SRJC.
WOW, ranted so much already. Going out with Nowell, Sheryl, Li Tong n Karl on thurs! Can't wait. Too bad Xue Wen can't make it... Ciao!
Friday, 6 January, 2012
Friends
6:45 AM
I thank the Lord for all my friends. He sent them into my life and I'm grateful to have them in my life. My friends are wonderful people who support me in times of need when my family cannot be there. They're fun to be with and well, I love them all. My friends bring great joy in my life. :)
Tuesday, 3 January, 2012
9:54 PM
Check this out:
http://growingtallerguide.com/index.php/53/grow-taller-exercises-to-increase-your-height/
I'm really desperate to grow taller amd since this doesn't actually hurt, hey, why not try it?
Anyway, life has been pretty boring actually. I simply laze around at home doing nothing. Sometimes, I get inspired and try to write but I can never get pass chapter 1. I have the entire story roughly planned out but not the details. So I kind of get stumped there. Another thing is that I realise that my writing has deteriorated. My phrasings and grammer's all weird and it makes my story suck, big time. Ohwells. That's the result of laying at home and doing nothing for 2 months...
Thursday, 29 December, 2011
Just go with it
10:09 PM
Just go with it is such a nice movie! I watched it yesterday night and Jennifer Aniston is sooooo pretty! No wonder she was voted as Hottest woman. Seriously,even I, a straight girl thinks she's hot. Anyways, the movie is too sweet! Eek! Loved it so much! Ahh.. I'm such a hopeless romantic
My Farewell to you
9:47 PM
I know I can't go and see you off, I'm terribly sorry about that. I'll miss you, I definitely will, especially since I wouldn't be able to send out smses to usher in special events lyk new year's and V-day. You've been a great friend to me and I thank you for the past four years. It hurts to know that you're leaving but I guess it's just part of life. I love you and I'll miss you. :') Please remember me and keep in touch.
I try not to...
9:45 PM
I try not to think, just so the pain wouldn't come. And yet it does. It comes and it hurts. And sad songs don't help either, because they just make it worse.
